


Starry Eyed

by TheArtsyNerd



Category: Original Work
Genre: Angst, Awkward Flirting, Bisexual Male Character, Flirting, Homophobia, Homophobic Language, How Do I Tag, M/M, Origin Story, Original Character(s), Over Sized Sweaters, Stars, Trans Male Character, Transphobia, shit parents, so fucking angsty, sort of vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-11
Updated: 2018-02-11
Packaged: 2019-03-16 21:04:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13644417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheArtsyNerd/pseuds/TheArtsyNerd
Summary: The sky was dark and beautiful that night when Aspen walked into his life. At first glance she was softer than rain but she changed his life forever.





	Starry Eyed

Samuel was out at night, just like any other. You see Samuel mapped the stars instead of sleeping, a way to fight the nightmares that followed him. He went to the same spot every night. It was a small quiet park that he knew he was breaking into but he never got caught. The park was his when twilight covered the land. His park was the boy’s only break from the world that held him down. Dressed in his favorite thing, his oversized yellow sweater he’d jump the fence each night. He’d jump into a freedom that was only his. No one was there to rip it from him. When he was alone in the park the boy was finally truly free from the world that had only been known to hurt him, even if it was just for a night.

This night was no different from any other star filled night, at least that's what it felt like. Samuel had laid out all his tools on a soft glow in the dark star blanket that he had spread out on the grass. His backpack still heavy with the weight of a change of clothes,his old beaten up laptop and the weight of what he was. In Samuel’s mind he was alone so when he heard a branch break he was scared. As far as he knew there was no one else left in the park.

Soon as Samuel saw a long haired girl walk out from the clearing of the trees. He hair was a dark chocolate and her skin was the color of cinnamon. The girl was striking. Samuel was left in awe when he saw her even though he didn’t know her. He had never seen her before. He had never seen anyone like her before.

The girl was confident; you could see it in how she carried herself. She didn’t know Samuel, yet she sat down next to him and spoke. Her voice was like honey. It was thick and lovely. Samuel was mesmerized.

“You do realize that the park is close, right?” Samuel only nodded.

“You do realize that I could call the police on you right?” Samuel only nodded again.

“But since you’re not causing any trouble I won’t call them, only if you let me sit by you.” 

Samuel was mesmerized by this girl, so confident in her words. The girl waited for an answer but no verbal one was given. The girl took the boy’s nod as a yes. She sat down next to the boy, her eyes seemed to sparkle like stars. The confident girl didn’t talk much after that, she only watched as the yellow boy mapped the stars.

Samuel soon put the girl sitting next to him out of his mind, even as she watched him. Samuel was different in how he mapped the stars; he painted them instead of drawing them. The paper in his sketchbook was thick enough to hold the weight of the watercolor. The boy always brought two sketch books. One for the stars the other for normal art. For the yellow boy, the stars were his private world. No one could take the stars from the sky, and that gave him concert.

The confident girl fell asleep watching the yellow boy. Her slumber wasn't caused by boredom. She hadn’t felt the sweet release that was sleep in a while. Life kept her up past her breaking point far too often. Like the yellow boy she too was running from the demons in her life but she always ran back. They lured her in like a tiger dose to its prey, but she knew how to hide the cat scratches. The confident girl was smart. She could trick the tigers or distract them but they always came back. She knew this all too well so her attempts to fight back stopped. 

They stayed in the park until daylight. Samuel wouldn’t have woken the girl up but he needed his blanket back. If it were up to the boy in yellow he’d stay in the park all day, but he had responsibilities to attend to. Samuel was a server at small restaurant that was connected to a dive style bar. The yellow boy actually enjoyed working there.  
The restaurant part of the building wasn’t very big. It had eleven booths and tables. The walls were covered with junk but somehow it worked to make the place cozier. Even though he applied to work at the restaurant side of the building because he was under age the kid quickly learned that there was really no difference between the bar and the restaurant. He didn’t really mind though. Samuel enjoyed working there even if it didn’t make much. It made enough that he could start saving to get his own place.  
Samuel still technically lived with his parents but he hated it. Every time he went back to the house he would be walking on eggshells. Samuel had broken too many. His parents couldn’t stand being in the same room as him. The boy felt the same way about his parents. He knew his parents hated, him but at least now they were open with it. Samuel’s parents never wanted another son but that’s what they got. It didn’t help that Samuel was nothing like his siblings.

Samuel poked the brown haired girl to wake her up. The boy made a mental note to ask if he could draw her the next time he saw her. There was just something about her that drew him in. The yellow boy couldn't put his finger on it. She was just alluring. The girl woke up after a few pokes to her side. Not even a minute after she woke up the girl introduced herself.  
“My name’s Aspen Rose Cipher. I don’t think I told you that last night.”

“You didn’t.” Samuel spoke. His voice was quiet and confused.

“Well, the polite thing to do now would be to tell me your name, pretty boy.” The way she spoke made Samuel blush.

“Samuel Wright Adler.” His response was short. Maybe it was because he hadn’t gotten more than eight hours of sleep this week. He wondered why she was treating him like this, like a person. The only people who treated him like this were at his job. To everyone else he was a freak. It was like they could see right through him. The people in the town treated him better the less he spoke and got in their way.

“I hope to see you again.” She smiled as she walked away. She walked back into a life of pain. The tiger was able to draw her back into his claws willing. Her heart was easily fooled so her mind stopped trying. Samuel was still perplexed by the girl; he hoped to see her again. He wanted to get to know this girl.

Samuel smiled very faintly as she walked away. The yellow boy quickly shook off the spell Aspen had put him under. He had to pack up and get to his job. He couldn't risk being late. The boy never was, but he wouldn’t take the chance. His job meant everything to him. It gave him the freedom he desperately needed, and a family that supported him, even if he wouldn't let them in. 

The walk to the dive bar and restaurant wasn’t too far. Samuel hated not being early to work though. The boss couldn't understand it. The boy in the yellow sweater had some clothing shoved in a utility closet in the building he worked in. This small thing helped him avoid going back to the hell that he called home.

The people at Samuel’s work were kind but he wasn’t very close with anyone. The boy always kept to himself, he never allowed himself to make friends. It was a luxury that Samuel didn’t think he deserved. The boy was always kind and polite ,but he had a way of doing it so no one could get close. Samuel knew that if he was able to get close to at least one person, he could potentially sleep on their couch for a few nights. Yet Samuel could never bring himself to do it.

The outside of the building was small and brick. The business name, The Blue Spoon, was painted on the side. Samuel smiled as he walked in, the firmalar scent to the place set him at ease. He was at home when he was here. The yellow boy was able to make it to his closet and change into the uniform he was given. It was a comfortable mix of a black tee shirt with the company's logo on it, and black pants. The boy was able to quickly fix his hair. He left his bag in the closet. 

The day started like any other. The regulars greeted him with a smile, they for a moment made the boy proud of himself. Within a blink of an eye the feeling was gone. Samuel had moments like that all the time when he was on the job. He savored them. It gave him hope that maybe, just maybe he wasn't the monster that everyone convinced him that he was.  
When you first meet Samuel you wouldn't know why others as well as himself think so little of him. He was always polite. Samuel could never been seen without a smile on his face. As you got closer to him, as you paid more attention to him you could see what everyone else saw. That his voice was a bit too high. Maybe his hips were too wide for a normal boy. It must be his mannerisms. No boy is that kind. All of it weighed down on Samuel.

“Wake up kid, stop daydreaming.” His boss, Eden was the one who snapped him out of his thoughts. His boss knew better though. He had see that pain that Samuel wore on many others. Even Eden had once wore that same pain. Everyone at the Blue Spoon had once wore that pain. The pain of the world weighing down on them, forcing them to be something their not or hide themselves away. Samuel just nodded and got back to work. He had to stay focused. He couldn't afford to not be focused.  
The boy who favors a yellow sweater tried to fight the drifting thoughts that floated in his mind like a feather in the breeze. Yet Aspen, the confident girl with skin the color of cinnamon wouldn't leave his thoughts. She was beautiful and her eyes sparkled with something the boy had never seen before. She was special but he couldn't figure out why. Soon he had stopped trying to push the thoughts of her out of his mind. Now he wanted to know more about her.

The people around Samuel noticed that something had changed in him. They didn’t know what, and they didn’t ask. Samuel seemed happier and more driven. The blue spoon pareon’s welcomed the change in the yellow boy. It did him well. The smiles that he gave customers were real. Not the practiced grimace that the regulars knew all too well. Even his boss noticed the change. The fear that many saw in the boy was almost now completely gone.

Samuel didn’t notice the change. If he did he would surely try to block it out. Something that the boy had learned early on in his life was that you shouldn't stand out. Don’t try to break your, and society's, normal. It was easier to be normal than to be different. Samuel’s normal was his small grimances and the constant feeling that something was wrong, fear. These things were always normal to him. If the strayed from it something bad could happen. The boy knew that for some people change was good, but he hated it.  
Ever since Samuel could remember, he feared change. Change bough new hopes that would never be fulfilled. The most memorable was the first time he got a C on his report card. He couldn't have been more than eight years old when he brought that slip of paper home to show his parents. For the next two weeks after he had brought the slip of paper home he was terrified to leave the comfort and safety of his small bedroom. That was the first time he realized he would never fit the mold of what his parents wanted in a child. He would, in fact turn out to be everything the hated. 

Samuel had wished to just be the child that his parents wanted more than anything else. Yet it was the one gift that he never got. It took Samuel to even expect that no matter how hard he tried he would never be what his parents wanted. There were so many nights that the boy prayed that his life could be given to someone more deserving. In his eyes he was exactly what his parents told him he was. A freak and a failure. 

Yet many others could tell you otherwise. Samuel wasn't conventionally successful nor was he normal by any means, but he could give you advice like no one his age could. He was wise beyond his years. The boy was also skilled in making up lies on the spot. A skill that was left over from the times when he had to hide bruises and wounds from prying eyes. The boy was skilled in telling people what they wanted to hear when they needed it. Samuel was used to being used by others so he became the best at it.

Samuel was waved over to the bar. The boss wanted to talk to him. The yellow boy felt fear bubble up in him. What did he do wrong. The boy was too nervous for his own good. Eden had only wanted to tell him that he was getting a raise. In Samuel’s mind he didn’t deserve it. His own toxic mind told him that he was always on the cusp of being fired.  
The yellow boy over analyzed everything he did, in fear of taking up someone's time or accidentally letting someone care about him. Samuel’s walls were high. They have always been. Sometimes he wondered if they were so high that he was locked outside of the walls too. The thought didn’t bother him as much as it should have. To him maybe losing himself would make it easier to be perfect. His own silly thoughts and wants could no longer make him fail.

Samuel only smiled and said thank you. It went against everything he was taught, but he wouldn't cause a seen. The boy didn’t see it but everyone around him that he was desperately fighting to keep his head above water and he isn't calling for help. The boy wouldn't let anyone help him. So the people around him found unconventional ways to help the boy. Everyone in the blue spoon knew about Samuel’s closet but they didn’t say anything. On a night he had to go home Eden kept him busy doing busy work at the bar just to make sure that when Samuel got home his parents would be fast asleep. The best thing that his coworkers did for him was when they made sure he could work when there was a slam poetry event going on at the blue spoon. The boy practically glowed when he found out he would be working that night. Samuel never realized that those things were done just for him. Yet those moments gave him more peace than he had ever experienced.

The boy smiled softly as tranquil thoughts of Aspen washed over him. Her smile would forever be in his brain. A memory that he wouldn’t be forgotten or suppressed or forgotten. Somewhere in him knew that no memory made with the girl would ever be forgotten. Even though they had just met Samuel had found peace and tranquility in the girl. A secret place that he could run to when things went wrong. 

Samuel also knew how dumb he was for being memorized by the girl. She could be leading him on, only to get him hurt. A tiger luring his prey in. Yet the thought of seeing her again, getting to know the curves of her face and see the constellations in her light freckles sent him straight into a feeling of ease and true happiness. How could something that was so perfect be bad. The nagging thoughts still told him to run away from her but he couldn’t. Something was just too powerful about the girl. Not an evil power, but maybe it was only dressed up in time stopping smiles and the sent of home.

The boy worked the rest of shift with ease. Thoughts of the odd yet enchanting girl carried him along. She got him though the day. When a order was messed up and was on the verge of tears her smile slipping into his mind and gave him the courage to say that he could exchange the order as well as the strength to see it though.  
Everyone was astonished by the boy’s action. The whole buildings aura changed. The people on the street could surly feel it too. For once Samuel had power over his fears. A thing he had only truly one other time in his life. It may not have seemed that important to the new faces Samuel served but everyone else knew.  
The moment Samuel met Aspen something that had been locked away in him for so long had been unlocked. The boy didn’t know what it was nor did anyone Else. Something in Samuel changed that night. And that was all the boy needed to start his journey.


End file.
